God heals marriages!!

Randy, today I write this letter to you because I am overly grateful for God's love, mercy and forgiveness. 

You see, about 6 months ago, I was facing the strong desire to separate from my husband because I couldn't stand him, didn't love him and was pretty much disgusted by him.  This feeling was nothing new to me because throughout our 6 year marriage, I have felt this way that has resulted in me filing for divorce two times and asking him to leave a handful of times.  We have had a rocky road to say the least and most of our family and friends know it...I always had a strong feeling of hate, bitterness and entitlement issues that I deserved better and that God didn't really want me to be married to this man.  I was in control of my life and even though I thought I loved God, acted like it, I would still result in negative and hateful behaviors toward my husband and shamefully towards our 5 year old son. 

We have some very amazing and Godly friends who have been a part of our lives through T-ball, church, etc...who have always reached out and in their own special way let us know they were there for us no matter what.  So, when I was feeling the strong desire to get "rid" of my husband, I thought I cannot feel good about myself until I talk to them and share with them all that he has done wrong against me and what a lousy husband he is.  To my surprise, the entire dinner was about how much God loves both of us and has a better plan for our lives.  It was still hard to believe it at that moment but I know I was getting the best advice I could ever get:   God is in control and we must surrender to his plan and then we will be overwhelmed with love, joy and happiness!  Such a wonderful idea but still not something I was ready to jump into...I still had ALL these issues that they didn't even address in our meeting.  They didn't even want to hear about all my issues with my husband.  It sent me home with alot to think (and pray) about. 

So, about two weeks later, these same friends met with both my husband and me and suggested we go through CTO and that they would be more than happy to meet with us every other week to go through it. I was interested but I told them I didn't have 6-9 months to stay with my husband and was very reluctant to do a "bible study" that would be just like all the others I have done.   Until the first week when I started reading God's word and really feeling a sense of peace, love and a great sense of forgiveness. I remember calling my friend and telling her how overwhelmed I felt and how amazing God's word really is! 

So, here we are about 3 months into this "bible study" and I will tell you I have never known God this way, even though I was a believer my whole life. I have learned he has a perfect plan for our lives and his timing is perfect.  He puts us through trials so we will become more like him and he is with us all the time!  I now know God put us together for a reason and I have started to feel a love for him that I have never felt before.  It isn't perfect but at least that strong negative desire to remove him from my life is gone. We are a different couple now and God is continuing to do a good work in us.  We are even considering adoption of a 3 year old family member who has no father and the mother is in prison for drugs. 

We are a different couple now 

and God is continuing to do a good work in us.

Talking to a friend the other night, he said you know, it is truly a miracle to see where God has brought you two because six months ago, this would never have been possible.

We live daily for the Lord and pray his will be done in our lives.  We still have a long way to go, but with changed hearts and a renewed spirit, I think--I know--we will be ok and stay married through the good and the bad.  I now have a strong desire to be the very best wife and mother and to show them love and patience.  I see the good in him and thank God for who he is. 

God is so wonderful and is doing a good work in us.  We are so grateful for our friends who have believed in us and have prayed for us and it is all because of His love that we are able to write this letter to you today.  We both feel we are open to God's plan and can't wait to see what the future brings!

Praise God from whom all blessings flow! 

Romans 8:28

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. 

Lisa D'Alesio

"I used to think of God's power and limits through my point of view.  

Now I've begun to realize that He has no borders."

Lisa, who is a native to Arizona, has been married to Matt for 27 years and has two daughters, 19 & 16.

In addition to discipling a number of women, Lisa and Matt have discipled couples and have worked with crisis marriages using "Setting Your Marriage On A Biblical Course."
Lisa also serves the Phoenix area by finding available disciplers for those who desire to be discipled.  She has been a board member of CTO since 2005 and serves as Secretary of our ministry. She has been one of the key people in planning and hosting the National Conferences. 

When asked how CTO has personally impacted her, she said...

CTO has deepened my understanding of my rights, or maybe as to the rights I really don't have."  I was significantly impacted by the reality that "I deserve to burn in hell and anything less than that is a pretty good day."  This perspective helps me to narrow my expectations of life from the worldly perspective I once had. 

  

Also, I've learned that there are no borders on the limits to the power of God.  I used to think of God's power and limits through my point of view.  Now I've begun to realize that He has no borders.  I have a new appreciation for the sovereignty of God and how vast He is.

Prior to CTO I did not have a full perspective or grasp of God's design of forgiveness and its importance throughout His Word.  Walking others through forgiveness helped me to come to a greater understanding and a growing personal experience of the power of forgiveness. 

Lisa has seen CTO impact others too.

I used to think that "doing life", was when I was "doing life" with like-minded people.   Now I have come to a better understanding with a broader perspective, that "doing life" is relative in all aspects of my life, people, community, etc. We don't have it mastered but I have seen God use intimate personal relationships to soften people's hearts to what God wanted to teach them.  One gal comes to mind...I was discipling her through forgiving her husband.  The gal did not see how she could forgive him.  As we worked through God's word on forgiveness, her heart was softened.  She began to understand that she must forgive and that it's not an option.  She said, "I just really need to deal with it, right?  So let's work through it!"  Not that it was easy, but it was what needed to be done and experienced in order to begin to grasp the power of God.

What about CTO excites you the most?  The personal stories... when people share their life stories. Everyone has a story but when we bring it down to the heartbeat of God we all have a great story.

Chuck Oltman

"I am excited about seeing discipleship continue to become a fundamental piece of church ministry." 

Chuck has been married to his wife, Isabel, for 36 years. They have four grown children and six grandchildren, with another one on the way!!  

After retiring from the Air Force and becoming a commercial pilot, Chuck recently completed his M.Div. in Leadership Development at Phoenix Seminary.  During this time he helped plant Soma Bible Church in Glendale, AZ, where he serves as an Elder, shares in the preaching, leads a gospel community and is involved in discipleship and leadership development.   In his "spare time"  he oversees the curriculum development for CTO.  Chuck has given many hours of his personal time to designing and formatting the Three-Part Discipleship series.

How has CTO personally impacted you?

When Randy and Janet took us through CTO in 2004, I saw fruit in 2 areas: 

• Our marriage improved as God dealt with some longstanding areas where I had been claiming my "rights".
• It deepened my understanding of the process of sanctification and the importance of forgiveness in that process-especially as it reflected my understanding of God's grace in my life and His forgiveness of me.

I have also seen other people grow in their personal walk with God and in their marriage as they deal with issues of control and forgiveness.

What excites you about CTO and CTO's future?

I am excited about seeing discipleship continue to become a fundamental piece of church ministry.  CTO can play a significant role in building discipleship into the DNA of the local church. It is not just a counseling program or a bible study to take people through, but a process that truly helps people to live lives that grow in Christlikeness and bring great glory to Him!!!!!